Moving in together

I remember when I was a teenager claiming I’d never live with a guy until I was married. Here I am almost 2 years into my relationship and living happily in the same home.

Evan & I moved in after … wait for it … seven months. People thought we were crazy, and it was way too soon. But the key word(s) there is “people thought.” Who cares what they think? There is an unspoken list of when it is acceptable to do things in a relationship… and I disagree with all of them. I think that you should go at the pace you’re both comfortable with. When you’re falling in love, why stop to hold back on something that could potentially bring you two even closer together, just because people have told you that you should wait a few more months?

So I didn’t really care when people told me it was too early to move in together, I wasn’t asking permission. We are on our second apartment now together and we love living together. While I totally say go for it if you’re both feeling ready and comfortable, I will agree that it is a big step. Here are some thoughts on how it feels to move in together for the first time.

Every day is like a date, we have so much fun just hanging at home, but going out on dates still feels special. You get to know each other’s moods — both good and bad. You can do things together like cook dinner without your roommate wanting you two out of the kitchen. You get to wake up next to each other, every day. Seeing every side of one another helps you to understand each other. You have someone to care for you when you’re not feeling well. You can have coffee together in the morning. I could go on and on about the good things about living with your significant other. There are so many little things that you wouldn’t even think of that bring you two closer together.

I definitely think it has made our relationship stronger, and I haven’t found much of a bad side to it. If I had to find some things that are a down-side to living with your boyfriend: You don’t have your roommate’s closet to borrow clothes from anymore. You miss seeing your friends as much as you did when you lived with them. It’s a relationship — you’re going to argue, and when that happens it’s hard to get the space you may need. You can’t watch The Bachelor whenever you want.

One thing that can be said about life is that it all works out. Everything will always work itself out. Moving in is a big step even if it doesn’t feel like a big deal but it’s also really exciting! And it’s normal. There are so many “you shouldn’t do this until this many months….. and this until then….” But it’s your relationship and you two should do whatever you’re both comfortable with and makes you two happiest.

My personal advice: when you’re falling in love, let yourself keep falling.


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