Moving in together

I remember when I was a teenager claiming I’d never live with a guy until I was married. Here I am almost 2 years into my relationship and living happily in the same home.

Evan & I moved in after … wait for it … seven months. People thought we were crazy, and it was way too soon. But the key word(s) there is “people thought.” Who cares what they think? There is an unspoken list of when it is acceptable to do things in a relationship… and I disagree with all of them. I think that you should go at the pace you’re both comfortable with. When you’re falling in love, why stop to hold back on something that could potentially bring you two even closer together, just because people have told you that you should wait a few more months?

So I didn’t really care when people told me it was too early to move in together, I wasn’t asking permission. We are on our second apartment now together and we love living together. While I totally say go for it if you’re both feeling ready and comfortable, I will agree that it is a big step. Here are some thoughts on how it feels to move in together for the first time.

Every day is like a date, we have so much fun just hanging at home, but going out on dates still feels special. You get to know each other’s moods — both good and bad. You can do things together like cook dinner without your roommate wanting you two out of the kitchen. You get to wake up next to each other, every day. Seeing every side of one another helps you to understand each other. You have someone to care for you when you’re not feeling well. You can have coffee together in the morning. I could go on and on about the good things about living with your significant other. There are so many little things that you wouldn’t even think of that bring you two closer together.

I definitely think it has made our relationship stronger, and I haven’t found much of a bad side to it. If I had to find some things that are a down-side to living with your boyfriend: You don’t have your roommate’s closet to borrow clothes from anymore. You miss seeing your friends as much as you did when you lived with them. It’s a relationship — you’re going to argue, and when that happens it’s hard to get the space you may need. You can’t watch The Bachelor whenever you want.

One thing that can be said about life is that it all works out. Everything will always work itself out. Moving in is a big step even if it doesn’t feel like a big deal but it’s also really exciting! And it’s normal. There are so many “you shouldn’t do this until this many months….. and this until then….” But it’s your relationship and you two should do whatever you’re both comfortable with and makes you two happiest.

My personal advice: when you’re falling in love, let yourself keep falling.

Cheers!

Four things you should always have in check

Your Resume

Oh, that thing you haven’t looked at since 2007? Update it! Surely there are things you have learned, programs you have mastered, positions you have had since you last updated your resume. Even if you’re very content in your job, you should always keep that baby up-to-date as soon as you acquire a new skill, or have any career changes.

Your Body

Too many people put this one off until it’s necessary. It’s so easy to skip that doctor’s appointment if you know you have a meeting that morning — don’t do it! Take my advice, as someone who had to face the consequences of ignoring my body after it begged to be taken care of. That experience taught me just how valuable – and smart – our bodies are. It will tell you if it needs attention, be sure to listen.

Your Priorities

No, I don’t mean prioritizing your daily tasks, while that may be helpful also. I mean your life priorities. Know your priorities, and live by them. Throughout your life, things may try to tell you that they are you top priority, but remember that you are the only person who decides that. I keep myself grounded by knowing my priorities, and acting in such a way that I am able to put other things aside when necessary. A second part of this could also be your dreams, aspirations, and goals. Knowing your priorities and being confident with your actions will only help you reach your goals faster.

Your finances

I struggled with this one, but it’s officially unacceptable to overdraft my account anymore (sorry for all of those times, Mom). I used to spend and spend until one day a cashier would say “your card is rejected,” then I’d just wait until my next paycheck and repeat. One big thing I stopped doing was taking a trip to Louis Vuitton each time I saved up to $1000. This has helped, a bit. Through trial and MANY errors, I think I finally have a grasp on how to budget. This is another place where priorities can play a role. I love to travel, and am willing to spend money if it means I get to see the world, but now I also must understand that maybe I can’t go out as much or buy new clothes if I want to spend my money on travel. I think of it as a very important balancing act. It helps to know exactly how much money you have in your account, and how much you can actually spend on FUN after you put away your savings and pay your bills. Real life stuff, it’s hard, but I’ve learned that by understanding it, and having your finances in check totally pays off in the long run. It allows you the freedoms you want to do fun things, but also not have the stress of living by paycheck each month.

There are many other things in life that you should also keep “under-control”: your hair, nails, clothes, etc. etc. – these are all materialistic things that will make you feel better. But starting with the four above, will help you overtime to be comfortable with the choices you’re making and help you continue on through a life that you want to live, with your best intentions being the heart of your decisions.

Cheers!

All the single ladies

Being single on Valentine’s Day is not the worst thing in the world. I will admit though, I’ve been single for some VDay’s, and remember the feeling of loneliness that seems to creep up on this day. Especially when everyone else is being ridiculous on social media like LOOK AT MY FLOWERS. Shup. (If this is actually going to bother you, avoid Facebook & Instagram. But just know that not everyone is nearly as happy as they hope their Instagram accounts portray they are…)

If you’re single this Valentine’s Day, *be your own Valentine*. Instead of getting down and just shutting out the day, celebrate yourself. Here are some ideas:

Go out to dinner with friends

In college, my single friends and I (weren’t we all really single in college?) had a pretty great tradition. Each Valentine’s Day, we would go see a movie together, and then go out to dinner and get a cheeseburger. I loved this. The cheeseburger was mandatory, you couldn’t order something else. I still think of cheeseburgers on this day.

Treat yourself

Take that money that you’re not spending on someone else, and spend it on YOU. What a better time than now to get that massage you’ve been wanting? Or even a mani/pedi!

Rent a movie & order your favorite food

This sounds perfect to me. Find a good movie on demand, and order something delicious to get delivered to you. Let yourself relax and have a great, low-key night. Don’t forget the wine.

Connect with an old friend

Have an old friend you’ve been hoping to reconnect with? Well, if she happens to be single, reach out and see if she’d like to get dinner & drinks that night. Chances are she is hoping to find plans too!

Enjoy your day — cheers!

Don’t you worry child

“My life has been full of terrible misfortunes most of which never happened.”

Michel de Montaigne

Same. Studies say that 85% of things that we worry about, never happen. I had heard that before but never really paid attention to it, or did anything with it. Recently, I decided to test it out. Each time a situation came up that made me anxious, I made a cognitive decision to let go of that stress, until the situation is right in front of me. It was crazy to see how many of these instances I could have spent time worrying about, never even happened! I actually had a hard time believing it at first, and just decided I was #Blessed. While I do feel fortunate in my life, that’s not it at all — it is simply true that majority of these things we get so worked up about, are just our imaginations creating situations that likely may never occur.

I challenge you to also try this tactic, let go of initial worries, and see if the situations you would have been stressed out about even end up happening. Create more space for happiness and peaceful thoughts, rather than cluttering your mind with negativity and stress.

“Rejoice in the things that are present; all else is beyond thee.”

Michel de Montaigne

Cheers!

Extra tissues please

Hang on while I get emotional…

I know this commercial is old news, but if you have not seen the entirety of the new Extra Gum commercial, do yourself a favor and watch it. First of all, kudos Extra, you absolutely crushed this. You took something as basic as gum and made it personal, emotional, and into a story. You also made a lot of people tear up, and get the beautiful song “Cant Help Falling in Love” by Haley Reinhart stuck in quite a few heads.

extra

But what I love the absolute most about this commercial is how normal it is. There is nothing extravagant about these two people, what they do, or what they have. The emotions that we watch them share together are raw human emotions; emotions that all of us can relate to.

It admits that love makes you vulnerable, it can have hard times, sometimes even life can get in the way. But in the end, love wins.

Absolute perfection in the most imperfect ways.

Extra, Cheers!

Namaste here

Relax. Release. Restore. Renew.

Life just keeps going, which is actually an amazingly beautiful thing. But it can get exhausting. I sometimes need to take a step back from my own thoughts and just chill, technology not invited. We recently moved and have a sun room that we’re not too sure what to do with. I think it’s the perfect opportunity to make a zen room — good vibes only, radiates positivity and relaxation. Here’s some inspiration I’m using to make our room calm AF.

buddha

bohemian

urban

fountain

nook
snugg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Photos from Pinterest

Cheers to positive ZENergy+++

The “supposed to” theory

25. What an odd age. We spend our Friday nights out at the bar and then have to stumble with a hangover to our friend’s baby shower the next morning and try not to down the whole tub of mimosas. (Side note: if you do happen to have either a baby or bridal shower while still in your twenties – you better have a tub of mimosas for the friends who aren’t quite on your level yet and had to have a whole army, a few ibuprofen’s and about three Gatorade’s to help her out of bed to make it to these events.) Life in your twenties feels kind of like being stuck as the rope in a game of tug-of-war – one side is trying to get you to take shots on a Tuesday and dance on the bar while the other side is pleading you to settle down and stop spending so much damn money on “fun”! What is up with this never-ending battle?

Us twenty-somethings have a lot going on. But for the first time in our lives – there are no deadlines. We went our whole lives being told what to do and when to do it, but they never told us that once we graduate from college it’s like we’re just thrown off of the high speed ferry we’ve been on our whole lives and are left to either sink or learn how to swim real fast.

I think we often get caught up in the thought that we’re “supposed to” be somewhere other than where we are. We’re supposed to love our job, supposed to wear the perfect outfit, supposed to travel, exercise, volunteer, study – but when?! That’s the thing, there is no answer. The only thing you’re supposed to be doing is exactly what you are doing: figuring it all out – one step at time. We all know that mistakes are the stepstools to success – when we find we’re doing one thing wrong, we change it up until we get it right. That’s what your twenties are about, some are mistakes we learn from and others turn out to be a beautiful part of your life. Forget about the “supposed to” and start thinking about how the experiences you’ve created for yourself – whether good or bad – have showed you who you are and where you want to go.

Being a twenty-something is a beautiful thing in itself. We are old enough to make decisions on our own, old enough to work full time and make our own money, even old enough to fall in love and start a family. But we’re also so young. We have so many opportunities at our fingertips, so much space to grow, things to learn and so much time to decide what we want to do. Where we are “supposed” to be is exactly where we are: on a never ending journey of self-discovery and creating happiness in our own lives. Instead of thinking you should be doing something else, be thankful for the roads that lead you to where you are today and look forward to the beautiful memories you are going to make with the rest of your tomorrows.